Winner of the 2020 Monadnock Essay Collection Prize. In this memoir, written within a collection of essays, Patrick Mondaca deftly threads together stories of his wartime service in Iraq, his pre-war experience, and his postwar efforts to readjust to civilian life. From small-town Connecticut to Baghdad, to Darfur and New York City, Mondaca considers the effects of war on the soldier - what it does to one's psyche, identity, and morality. While he is just one of millions who have returned from this country's ongoing armed conflicts, his moving essays offer a glimpse into the experience of veterans struggling to find their way back to their prior lives and the loved ones trying to understand them. The collection speaks deeply and thoughtfully to many issues of our times.