Ashamed

At the lowest moment in my life, I stood at the gates of hell. I saw what it was like. I can never, ever go there again.' Laura Walsh always dreamed of the perfect life, family and home. With two cherished children and a loving partner, she had everything she could wish for. Then she fell pregnant again. She thought a third child would be too much to cope with, but when she saw her new daughter for the first time she loved her dearly. Four months later, Laura walked into little Natasha's bedroom and found her beautiful baby dead in her cot. She cradled the little girl in her arms, but there was nothing she could do. Natasha was gone. And so began Laura's journey of self-destruction. She became addicted to painkillers and alcohol, her marriage failed, she lost her house and she alienated friends and family. Lying, cheating and stealing to acquire the tablets and booze her body craved, Laura spent years in the wilderness, while her children watched their mum become a sordid shadow of the woman they loved. Ashamed of herself, she was unable to break free u until one Christmas when her addictions finally threatened to kill her. After days of drinking and suicidal thoughts, she began to slip in and out of consciousness, shaking, sweating, vomiting, unable to move or think. As her body began to shut down, she at last found the strength to fight back, and she went on to launch a successful business and become a mother to her children again. Laura's life has been one of heartbreak, pills, booze, self-destruction and, ultimately, hope. In One Day at a Time, she reveals how she found the strength to come back from the brink and spectacularly rebuild her life.