How Downshifting to a Windswept Scottish Island Did Absolutely Nothing to Improve My Quality of Life.
'I can't believe it. We are finally here. Most downshifters dream of retreating to the warm Mediterranean destinations when urban life gets to be too much, but my own personal dream has always been for the cold, clear light of the far north, and, intoxicated from an early age by the images of post-impressionist painters like Stanley Cursiter, and, later the romantic writings of George MacKay Brown, my dream destination has always been the Orkney Islands, and here, now, we have finally arrived.'
Max and his partner Chancery get down to the serious business of settling into the local community: they experience the full ferocity and alcohol-fuelled intensity of an Orcadian ceilidh; the hairy druids and hippies who come to celebrate the summer solstice, and are introduced to the eccentric members of the Dance Fraternity, a flimsy alias for the island's singles.
During their seven year stint they meet a colourful array of characters: Rhona and Shona, identical twins who introduce them to the Orcadian singles hotspot - behind the burger van; Jason, the gold medallion wearing local builder; Backpack Bertha the rambler; Jack and Jasper, the island's eligible (although extremely camp) baachelors; the voloptuous Henrietta, and Robert and her mismatched husband Silent Philip.
Finally, however, the seductive charm of the isles wears off and they realise that rather than downshifting they have been downshafted, and the time has come to return to the mainland and the joy of all-night supermarkets and city life.
