Dating Makes You Want to Die: But You Have To Do It Anyway

In more innocent times, courtship was a simpler affair. An earnest boy would come over to "call," and he and the young, dainty miss would sit on the front porch and hold hands. Six months later, he would ask her father for her hand and just like that, they lived happily ever after.

But happily ever after isn't so easy anymore. It's all terror, loneliness, and visits to your therapist. The ritual of courtship has been replaced by the ritual of obsessively updating your Match.com profile. The young, dainty miss on the front porch is now a bitchy dragon woman in middle management who would rather make a spreadsheet than track down a boyfriend. The earnest boy now has hair plugs and desperately tries to bang spring breakers in Cancun.

And yet, the desire to find someone still resonates in our dark and disaffected souls. DATING MAKES YOU WANT TO DIE is the perfect relationship guide for the rest of us: those who watch The Daily Show and read The Onion and would never pick up a copy of "He's Just Not That Into You" or "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." Chapters such as A Fortress Unto Itself: The Single, We Are In Love (Maybe), and The Death of Romance (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Paying Half As Much Rent), all give advice on how to get through the twisted and disheartening journey. From the bar scenes and the first sexual encounter, to deciding whether to move in together and what to say when you meet the folks, each chapter discusses the problems that can arise when dating, offers a remedy, and includes hilarious sidebars and quizzes to further help the reader prepare for the jungle out there. Intelligent, snarky, and entertaining, DATING MAKES YOU WANT TO DIE is the ideal dating book for a new generation.