Apostrophes are a f'ing pain. The rules about how to use them are complicated, and have evolved haphazardly.

Originally written as advice by a copywriter for designers - wont to insert and remove apostrophes at will, for visual effect - this is a light-hearted, pocket-sized guide to getting the f'ing things right.

Simon Griffin lets off steam so that we don't have to, showing precisely why 'Rhianna and Jennifer's photos were all over the internet' is quite different to 'Rhianna's and Jennifer's photos' or what words apostrophes are replacing in sentences such as 'He'd like you to buy him some cocaine', or 'They've got it all on camera.'

Elegantly produced, this is the perfect gift for any pedant, as well as an indispensable guide in all our moments of grammar-related frustration.

WARNING: CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE!