Esteemed members of the Academy! You have done me the great honour of inviting me to give you an account of my former life as an ape. So begins Franz Kafkas masterful short story A Report to an Academy. Red Peter is a star. Having taken the Variety Stage by storm, his lifes work was realised with an invitation to speak before the greatest thinkers of the age. He now stands, dressed in his finest top and tails ready to begin. His is the story of a brutal capture in an African jungle, to his mastery of the civilised world - how an ape learned to ape man.
