'Out Of The Shadows' brings together eleven women who tell their stories of growing up with mentally ill mothers. In this book - the first of its kind - the depictions of individual mother-daughter relationships are unstintingly honest. They show the messiness, pain, everyday challenges and triumphs of spirit that have been part of all of their lives. The legacies are not sanitised. Indeed, a key feature of 'Out Of The Shadows' is the presence of the women's voices, heartfelt and revealing.
Growing up in a family with a 'mad' parent can be traumatic and overwhelming. The women disclose the impact on their intimate relationships, their life direction, creativity and subsequent parenting while some reveal violent interactions that took place. All demonstrate the possibility of ongoing healing and the richness that comes from making sense of their family influences.
The stigma of mental illness still produces a silencing of discussion in our communities and families. It is as if we are not prepared to look into the dark, shadowed areas of such illness and the impact it has on families. 'It seems to me that these stories have much to say about the journey of life', says Catherine Camden-Pratt. In this book she includes her own experiences of growing up with a 'mad' mother and the challenges faced by herself and her sisters in childhood and, later on, in their own families:
'Throughout my life with her, my mother was given a variety of diagnoses within the medical model. I wanted to know how other women lived with the complexities of their particular mother-daughter relationship. I wanted to hear other women's stories - the messy stories we mostly don't hear, mostly don't tell for fear of ridicule or even worse of the stigma of being one day possibly 'just like your mother'. I wanted an unsanitised model - not airbrushed for more palatable consumption - and yet simultaneously respectful and resistant of voyeurism.'
For children of the same sex as their 'mad' parent there are gender-specific challenges which usually involve a process of lifelong healing. The book raises questions about the medical model's definitions, our understandings of 'madness' and fears, and how the women experienced their medicated mothers.
In conjunction with the women's stories, Catherine discusses common assumptions about life stages and psychological development; historical ideas about mental illness and madness; the impact of expected gender roles on women; the impact of social expectations of mothering and common notions of grief and healing.
What comes through in these stories is their courage in being prepared to face the legacy of their mothers' lives. Ultimately we share their triumph in coming out of their mother's shadow whilst honouring what was important to them in their mother's life.
