Shock, horror - teenagers actually want to be controlled and have their parents involved in their lives!
According to parent educators Ken and Elizabeth Mellor, parents need to stay very involved, not "step back", as their children become teenagers - because teenagers in the early to middle teen years actually want to be controlled despite appearances!
As well as parental involvement, teenagers need attention to safety, clear expectations and limits, and for their parents to understand what is happening. These are the cornerstones of the approach they recommend.
Among the Mellors' other key points are:
- Teenagers grow through six very different developmental stages that mirror earlier phases in their lives from infancy on;
- Each stage requires specific responses from parents that rarely work for the other stages;
- Teenagers need lots of time and attention in the early to middle years, particularly if they "slip back" to more infantile behaviour;
- Parents need to be aware of the more grown-up aspects of their teenagers' development so they can encourage this, even in the face of their children's emotional immaturity;
- Parents and teachers need to read any signs of trouble in a teenager correctly - and the Mellors include a chart, the Rainbow Alert Scale, to help with this important task.
'Teen Stages' offers simple, practical, tested hints on how to deal with "trouble" and head it off before it starts, as well as creative suggestions on what to do to promote the outcomes most parents want for their teenagers.
