A Practicle Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig.
This is a book about cooking, cleaning and housekeeping for people who don't know how to do any of these things and aren't about to learn.
Helpful Household Hints include:
"How often does a house need to be cleaned, anyway? As a general rule, once every girlfriend. After that she can get to know the real you."
"Sheets can be kept clean by getting drunk and falling asleep with your clothes on."
"Salt keeps your blood pressure up to the pitch of modern life and improves all food. Use salt on everything."
