Matthew Kelly proposes that the modern person has a burning need. More than money, bigger houses or faster promotions, the modern craves one thing: intimacy. Kelly convinces us that our bodies are crying out for intimacy in the same way that our bodies feel hunger pains when we need food or thirst when we need a cool drink of water. Whether we are aware of it or not, whether we are able to articulate it or not, we cannot live happily without intimacy.
In 'The Seven Levels of Intimacy', Kelly presents seven levels through which we are able to experience intimacy.
- The First Level: The Intimacy of Cliché -- At this level we rely on causal interaction. These encounters reveal little about each person and rely on superficial conversation.
- The Second Level: The Intimacy of Facts -- Here we focus on facts such as how we did today, how our favourite football team is performing, what's for dinner and so on.
- The Third Level: The Intimacy of Opinions -- This is the level where relationships begin to be challenged. It is within this level that we share what we really thing and where we must listen and react to what others really think. It is here that we grow to accept each other even though we have had different experiences and have different opinions.
- The Fourth Level: The Intimacy of Hopes and Dreams -- Once our differences and opinions are accepted, we are able to reveal our hopes and dreams. This is the level where trust is developed.
- The Fifth Level: The Intimacy of Feelings -- The trust and acceptance that we have gained from the previous two levels allows us now to open the gates and confidently share our feelings.
- The Sixth Level: The Intimacy of Faults, Fears, and Failures -- In this level, we are both willing and able to reveal our deepest fears. We are beyond judgement and we feel trust and acceptance. It is here that we are finally free to be ourselves.
- The Seventh Level: The Intimacy of Legitimate Needs -- This is the deepest level of intimacy. It is here that we are able to share our true needs to those who are closest to us. We become liberated from carrying the burden of our real needs alone.
