Real cats never eat from bowls (at least, not the ones marked cat). Real cats never wear flea collars . . . or appear on birthday cards . . . or chase anything with a bell in it.
Read cats do eat quiche. Ana giblets. And butter. And anything else left on the table. They can hear a fridge door opening two rooms away.
Real cats don't need names. But they often get called them. "Yaargeroffoutofityarbastard" does nicely.