Not only can't the Wildcats field a full team; their goalkeeper, Smokin, keeps going to the canteen, the toilet or off home during a game, without telling anyone!
But he's got a fair bit on his mind, with his old man building a Chinese junk in their backyard and planning to sail off down the creek and head for Hawaii. Do they seriously expect him to keep goal and stick around for the entire match?
With some of Throw-in's clearances adding to the rings around Saturn, Own-goal scoring spectacular hat-tricks against his own team, and Splinters refusing to wear his three hundred dollar boots in case they get dirty, it's no wonder some people think the Western Wildcats suck!