The Wildcats are in trouble again! Down on the ground, there's got to be some way of raising funds, and their coach comes up with health food bars. Only trouble is they're incredible, and whoever sells the most gets an all-expenses-paid trip to Canberra.
Up in the air, though, Splinters and Nuke are on their way to London to retrieve their best player, Gazza, who's been deported back to England with her mum, and the two boys get up to the sort of in-flight antics that have made travelling footballers notorious.
Grappling as always with the problem of how to make up the numbers, someone remembers a genius footballer called Armitage Shanks who registered for the Under 6s, but never turned up for training or played a single game. Then the obvious question: how do you know he was a genius? And (to Splinters) the equally obvious answer: he had great boots! But when Armitage Shanks turns up, it's a bigger surprise than the Wildcats have bargained for.
Then there's the old drunk over the fence from the oval where the Wildcats train: someone recognises him as Paddy Doyle, a former football star who once played in the FA Cup final. And they persuade Paddy to sober up and help coach the team.
And the whole crazy adventure races towards an unexpectedly moving conclusion.