Splinters has somehow scored a gig for the Wildcats to play at the reopening of Wembley Stadium. And they're excited - until they realise they'll be fronting up to the best young players that England can offer.
After years of being humiliated by Australia at cricket, swimming, equestrian events and beach volleyball, the English FA decides that, with the rest of the world watching, it's time for a bit of payback. Humiliation for the Wildcats and Australia!
But the authorities haven't counted on the sense of pride that goes with the green and gold (or in the Wildcats' case, red and blue). And they couldn't have guessed that the Gaffer and Eric can change such a ragbag of misfits into - well, if not a team, exactly - at least a bunch of losers who turn up to training occasionally.
You'll laugh and cheer as Splinter and the rest of the Wildcats burn their way across the hallowed Wembley turf!
