All men think about sex. Even John Betjeman spent his twilight years musing "I wish I'd had more sex". Twentysomethings Tim and Rob are determined not to end up thinking the same.
They think it's more Gary Lineker than Desmond Morris. It's all about scoring. And for Tim and Rob, it's all about scoring the new-girl-at-work Clare Jordan.
The Clare Jordan Five-and-Three-Quarter Feet handicap Stakes works as follows; Tim has to seduce five women whose names start with C, L, A, R and E. Rob's quintet has to be bedded in places beginning with the same letters. He who bares wins . . .