'What rhymes with "bastard"?
•astard
•castard
•dastard
•e–arstard...nope
•fastard
•gastard
•harstard
•i...nope
•jastard
•kastard
•lastard
•mastard...mastered? Nope
•larstard
•narstard
•parstard – plastered? Plastered!
That's it! This is the story of how a very nice boyfriend became a plastered bastard and how I wrote some songs about it.'
This is also the story of how Linda and Alan fell madly in love, moved to San Francisco and got married for Green Card purposes; of how they got crap jobs and lived like squatters in a house overpopulated by weirdoes; of how they (Linda) issued an embargo on anal sex until Alan quit smoking and how they (Alan) decided it was time to take their marriage to the next level – an open relationship – while Linda bought a cat.
Funny and sad, 'What Rhymes with Bastard?' is about an English girl abandoned by her husband, surrounded by surreal friends, and in search of the ultimate musical accolade: Ms Accordion San Francisco 2004.
