As an ever-increasing number of marriages end in acrimony and divorce, it is tempting to think that all couples are destined for disillusionment once the romance starts to fade. Jungian analyst Polly Young-Eisendrath suggests a different, happier ending to the story of love between the sexes.
In 'You're Not What I Expected', Dr Young-Eisendrath follows four struggling couples through therapy, and locates the psychological predicament at the root of relationships heading for failure. Actual lovers either don't correspond to their partners' idealised 'dream lovers', or they exhibit traits reminiscent of previous unhappy experiences.
Husbands ultimately fail to grow into the model 'Hero', or they resemble their wife's 'Terrible Fathers'. Wives who abandon the role of 'Maiden Lover' metamorphose into a twenty-first-century witch, the 'Terrible Mother'. Dr Young-Eisendrath points the way to 'mature dependence': an intimacy built on equality.
'You're Not What I Expected' shows couples that dialogue is at the heart of friendship and trust.
